An English Asian Bride

I have always been a very open minded person, but never in my dreams growing up did I imagine that I would be an Asian bride as well as a traditional white bride.  It has taken a lot to get to this point and it isn't for the faint hearted. The Pakistani family I have married into are also very open minded, which has made it a lot easier for me to blend in.  I was allowed to live with my partner before marriage, which is very frowned upon in the Muslim culture and I have always felt welcomed.  

You have to get very used to everyone talking a different language around you and understanding that they may forget to speak in English.  Dressing appropriately around family members who are traditional and researching what to do when attending events such as funerals. If it isn't explained to you, then it's a shock to arrive and have to wear a scarf over your head and stand separately to the Men.  But in comparison to the moments you have to have patience, there's many many moments that are wonderful.  I love embracing and trying the food, the clothes, the dancing culture and the Bollywood movies.  It's a different world that makes mine and my partners relationship interesting. He celebrates Christmas and Easter with me and my family and  I celebrate Eid with him and his family.  The more celebrations the better!

I will always make an effort to be respectful to my partners culture, but stick to mine also. It is always important to not lose your identity when you're in a relationship and this is no exception.  So when I decided I would have an Asian wedding (Nikkah), I made sure I did my research.  This is because many people will tell you you need to convert, and I am telling you that you don't.  Never do something that you don't understand.  I found an Iman (Asian priest) that was a bit more 'modern' and was happy to marry a Muslim and a Christian women.  Many very traditional Imams won't unless she converts, but there is a clause if she is of the book meaning a practising Christian or Jew, then you can.  My experience other than that was very good.  

I have a great sister in law who was very patient with me when showing me traditional outfits, jewellery and decorations for the room.  It was all so new for me so I needed help.  I showed her outfits I liked, but had no idea what was bridal or not.  When my outfit arrived I was really unsure about it, it was unlike anything I had ever worn before and I felt frumpy and uncomfortable.  I had my makeup and hair trial a month before the day and I really didn't like it either.  It was so much makeup that I didn't recognise myself.  But on the day I realised how much I needed it to match the glamour of the outfit and the jewellery.  I wouldn't have known that by myself!  

We decided on a very intimate day due to covid, but actually that was perfect for me.  It enabled me to be completely comfortable as an Asian bride around my closest family.  We decided to go for an afternoon tea to make it the coming together of the 2 different cultures. The day before we had a mini mehndi where you have dances and the ladies have henna.  It was so fun to experience and for my family also. 

 My bridal henna took 3 hours and I had to sleep in it.  I couldn't use my hands so my Mum had to feed me and even brush my teeth for me.  Not an experience I'll forget I'll tell you that!  

Despite the doubts about my outfit and my make-up, I will say that I never felt more beautiful on the day! It was such a special day and the comments I got on the pictures afterwards were so overwhelming.  I'd recommend to everyone in a relationship of two different cultures to relax and enjoy celebrating them both.  I thoroughly enjoy doing so and will continue to do so as our family grows.